Why I chose silence over content
My stomach dropped.
Breathing shallow, chest tight, stress was flooding in. My to-do list was getting longer by the minute, appointments packed my calendar, and in 36 hours, I had to be on a plane. I still hadn’t packed. And I certainly hadn’t scheduled the content I should have prepped weeks ago to “stay visible.”
How the hell am I going to fit everything in?
The pressure felt intense. Visibility matters when you run your own business. The thought of disappearing from the online world for a month was triggering a wave of panic. I knew something had to give, and at this rate… it might just be my heart!
The reason for the chaos? A wonderful one, in theory.
My husband and I were about to embark on a month-long European adventure to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary, our first-ever overseas holiday without kids in tow. When we first got married, I inherited my “Bonus Boys”, Graham’s two young sons from his previous marriage (just 3 and 5), and within a few years, we added our son and daughter to the mix.
For us, travel had always included kids. So the idea of four uninterrupted weeks with just us? It felt delicious.
But we’re both business owners, which meant a lot of boxes to tick before we could even think about exhaling.
Popcorn Brain and panic mode
As a Sparky-brained businesswoman, one of my most consistent challenges is time perception. If it's not now, it's not actually real for me. I am typically an absolute marvel at last-minute creativity - deadlines fuel and motivate me. But this dance with the reality of time also means I can underestimate how long something will take to do (because I do like to do things well!), and sometimes I can overestimate just how much I can squeeze into a specific time slot.
All of my personal time warps were imploding.
With so much energy going into supporting my clients before I left, my own content and marketing took a back seat. Suddenly, it was go-time… and I had nothing prepared.
I told myself: “It’s fine, you’ll write as you go. You’ll reflect each morning, share insights, maybe even post some beautiful stories tied to business learnings…”
I did none of that.
Each morning, as I chose what to wear and we planned the day’s adventures, my laptop sat idle. Taunting me.
“Aren’t you going to give me some attention?”…. “maybe tomorrow,” I kept replying.
Comparison, guilt, and a laptop full of shoulds
One day, while uploading the next lot of photos of French villages, Italian sunsets, and endless gelato, I noticed a beautifully crafted business post from a colleague who was also travelling. I felt the pang of comparison rise.
My inner critic, Helga, took the bait and she RAN with it.
“See? Other businesswomen have their shit together. She’s probably got a whole month of content pre-scheduled. Unlike you, who once again, made plans and failed spectacularly.”
I had a decision to make.
I could stay stuck in guilt and rumination, or I could be fully here for this highly anticipated, truly once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Self-Leadership in action
So I took my own medicine. I invoked the very principles I share with clients, the self-leadership orientation I’ve honed and practised for years.
Here’s what I reminded myself:
Emotions aren’t facts. The guilt, comparison, and “shoulds” were real feelings, but they didn’t need to dictate my choices.
Discernment matters. Visibility is important, yes. But constant output? Not essential. Presence mattered more.
My worth isn’t tied to output. I didn’t become less valuable by pausing. In fact, I discovered that stepping back renewed my capacity.
Agency is mine. The rhythm of my business belongs to me, not the algorithm, not best practices or formulas.
Perspective is powerful. One month offline doesn’t erase the trust I’ve built. If anything, I believe it deepens it as I walk my talk, that your business needs to serve you just as much as you serve your clients.
Once I chose to be present, once I let go of the feelings of obligation, comparison, and guilt, I felt lighter. And something interesting happened.
The science of stepping away
A 2023 Harvard / Academy of Management study (Schabram, Bloom & DiDonna) explored what happens when professionals take time away. The researchers found that breaks or sabbaticals seem to unfold in three phases:
Recovery – time for rest and reconnection with yourself and the ones most important to you
Exploration – as you feel more relaxed, your curiosity returns, and your perspectives often begin to shift
Practice – playing with these fresh ideas, new insights start to emerge, and creative ideas, including possible new ways of working or side projects, evolve
Across the board, the research participants felt affirmed in their voice, and experienced greater clarity and confidence, especially when they had the time for the exploration & practice phases.
What’s consistent is that returning participants felt affirmed in their voice (greater clarity, confidence) — especially when exploration & practice phases were present.
The same research (and related narrative studies) suggest that breaks, holidays, and sabbaticals often become identity work. The space provides time to consider who you are (beyond your business or your roles) and to reshape how you want to show up. You can find that your relationship to your business or work is different - you may develop stronger boundaries, or become more selective about what you say yes to, and become more intentional about what feels “on purpose.”
Welcome back, creativity - we have much to do!
About two weeks in, I noticed I was sleeping better. Breathing deeper. Feeling…more optimistic again.
With no content to “push” and no schedule beyond catching a train or choosing which gelato flavour to try this time, ideas began to bubble up. They gently tapped me on the shoulder and quietly asked for my attention, rather than grabbing me roughly and shaking my shoulders with a “you gotta do this now” urgency. They arrived while I was gazing at paintings and mountain tops, marvelling at architecture and history, and just roaming - people-watching and enjoying the sunshine.
I didn’t have to chase them down. They found me.
Neuroscience backs this up.
When we allow downtime, our Default Mode Network kicks in - our brain’s creative backstage crew. The DMN;
Connects scattered ideas
Plays with possibilities
Generates fresh insights
Helps us zoom out and see the bigger picture of possibilities
That explains why your best ideas often arrive in the shower or while staring out the window of a train on the way to Florence!
So yes, I was quiet online this past month. But inside? Things were very active!
Downtime: The missing “D”
If you’ve been in my world for a while, you might have heard me talk about the 3-D Filter from my One Thing Now Reset:
Delivery – client work
Details – admin, operations
Development – visibility, offers, business growth
What I missed when creating this handy wee resource was the fourth D: Downtime.
My recent experience has confirmed that downtime isn’t optional. It’s foundational.
Without it, everything becomes… a grind. Enthusiasm flatlines. Clarity leaves the building. Ideas stop flowing.
This means downtime is a strategic tool that fuels the other “Ds.”
You don’t need a month in Europe
This isn’t about waiting for a milestone or a holiday to step back.
It’s about committing to small, deliberate pauses, definitely weekly, perhaps even daily, where your brain can have a positive time out. This might look like:
An hour with no phone or laptop
A walk with no podcast
A morning a week with no meetings
An entire, luxurious day with no “must-dos”
It’s not the amount of downtime that matters. It’s the deliberate flavour of it, without expectation of a specific, or any, outcome.
And I promise, your creativity, your business, your clients, and your nervous system will all benefit from your choice.
