What do you do when your brilliant brain turns on you?
Yesterday, I was in flow. The kind of flow that makes you remember exactly why you do what you do.
A sparky-brained client had flown in from Victoria for a strategic planning day, and we spent hours unpacking her business, sorting the gold from the gravel, making space for expansion, planting the seeds for her next chapter. She left energised, clear, lighter. I was delighted, inspired, and fulfilled.
My brain lit up in all the best ways.
And then... less than 24 hours later, I found myself staring up at the world from the bottom of a pit of self-doubt and gloom.
I’d forgotten the speed of my emotional gear shifts. But I recognised it.
Because there’s something I’ve learned about myself, and maybe it’s true for you too: My sparky brain that connects the dots so quickly for my clients, that sees connections between the seemingly unconnected, does the same for me.
But when I’m not travelling so well, that skill quickly moves to the dark side and connects the dots in a far less helpful way.
My inner critic turns brutal. Instead of seeing potential, it sees proof I’m behind. Instead of clarity, it manufactures comparison. Instead of celebration, it tosses a critique my way in a frenzy of Teflon for the Positive and Velcro for the Negative tendencies.
This isn’t a flaw. It’s simply a part of how I’m wired, how my ADHD can show up. And I’ve come to understand that awareness is the first self-leadership tool.
The speed of the spiral
Why did the speed dial go way up on this occasion?
Two reasons. #1 I’m unwell at the moment. As an asthmatic, a cold can morph into a sinister beast that sits on my chest and hammers my breathing. This one has teeth and claws!
And #2, I was on a group call for my business support this morning, and my Comparison Queen burst into the room as I listened to the stunning achievements of my fellow businesswomen.
"Look what they did. And what have you done? Nothing worth noting. Yesterday? Yesterday was a fluke.. but these women? They’re actually impressive."
Her voice is familiar. It’s loudest when my executive functions are sputtering - when I’m sick, dysregulated, or stretched too thin. She waves her wand, and my strengths become saboteurs.
What used to keep me stuck here, for days, was believing the voice automatically.
Now? I stage an intervention on myself. Not always immediately, but much sooner than I used to.
Sparky-brained strengths and struggles
If you’re also ADHD-ish (diagnosed or simply aligned to the speedy popcorn brain style), you might relate to these types of swings…
The joy of hyperfocus… and the crash when it ends.
The brilliance in problem-solving… and the paralysis when it’s your problems you need to solve.
The generosity, energy, and encouragement you give clients… and the sky high expectations you put on your own shoulders.
These are not just mood swings. They’re executive function swings. Our ability to regulate our emotions, focus our attention, plan and prioritise, access our memory, monitor our actions and hold perspectives can falter when we’re depleted. And because we know what we’re capable of, it feels especially disorienting when we can’t access those skills.
This is where practices and tools really matter.
The Deliberate Pause: A reset in 5 steps
One of the frameworks I turn to in moments like this is my Deliberate PAUSE. It’s an evolution of my Catch & Detach model - a way to stop the spiral deepening, to respond with compassion and reset:
Perceive the pattern: Recognise the narrative. Mine was “I’m not enough.”
Anchor in your body: One breath. Feet on the floor. Come back to the now.
Untangle the story: Is this really true? 100% true? Or is it a flare-up?
Steady with strengths: What can I revisit from yesterday’s version of me?
Exhale with intention: Let it settle. Choose my next step with care.
This practice has been so helpful when coupled with a supportive inner dialogue. Over time, it’s helped me develop my self-leadership, the deeper sense of internal authority and self-trust that’s aligned with self-worth.
And...phone a friend!
I also reached out to one of my belief buddies. Not for strategy. Just to be seen, heard, and reminded that my Inner Critic is a bit of a b***h, and that I’m fine.
We all need people like this, especially when our inner narrator throws emotional hand grenades our way.
Why I’m sharing this
Because this cycle? I know it’s not unique to me. I see it in nearly every woman I work with, especially those with fast brains and big hearts.
The emotional whiplash. The questioning cycles, again and again. Confident one day. Wobbling the next. The quiet collapse after a big day. The inner critique that sounds so convincing. In short, we all find ourselves on the Confidence See Saw when we’re in the arena.
You’re not odd. You’re not alone. And you’re not behind.
What nelps (beyond the pause)
Cultivating your vitality: Nutrition, movement, hydration, sleep. Boring but vital.
Visual Anchors: I keep my values, purpose, and wins visible in my office.
Belief Buddies: One or two humans who see you clearly and gently remind you.
Creative Containers: Places like my Insight Table events or my Business Retreats, where you can be seen, heard, understood, encouraged, and mindfully challenged.
We need these practices, insights, and resets, not just for ourselves, but because we’re also leaders, creators, and space-holders for others. Our examples, experiences, and stories can open the door to the next chapter for another woman.
We’re in this together!
