The SHU Factor: Build Trust By Sharing Your Story
Last week, I was in the city updating my “Psychological Flexibility” skills in a two-day workshop with Russ Harris, Australia’s leading expert in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). Even if you’ve not heard of ACT, you’ll be familiar with some of the core concepts - not to believe everything your head tells you, not to fuse with your thoughts.
When you have psychological flexibility:
You notice what’s going on inside (your thoughts, feelings, and impulses) as well as what’s happening around you (the environment and circumstances).
You can choose to respond, rather than habitually react (when those internal or external influences are holding the reins)
The actions you choose to take are guided by what‘s important to you (your values), not just to avoid discomfort or to satisfy an impulse or urge
In essence, a thought, situation or feeling can HOOK you, and that’s likely to take you away from your goals. When you have psychological flexibility, you’re much more able to UNHOOK and move towards the values-based goal you have.
We face these "Choice Points" many times a day.
I first delved into this approach about 8 years ago and loved the concept. It felt so doable, so manageable, and beautifully aligned with my philosophy of infusing your values into your business so it's sustainable, so I promptly turned what I learned into sessions I could share with my clients.
I’ve since anchored my Self-leadership work with this skill set, because what's going on in our heads can massively impact what we do in business - I’ve first-hand experience of this and the scars to prove it!
The SHU Factor in business
Last week's update was a refresher with new depth - Russ was sharing how to work with Sparky-Brained (ADHDers) like myself, and our other neurodivergent counterparts. I was eager to dive in, pen poised, head cocked….
And then, in a marvellous SHU moment, Russ shared how he, too was an ADHDer and unwrapped some of his own challenges and triumphs.
This is the SHU Factor in action. It's powerful to feel Seen, Heard and Understood.
Russ wasn’t just teaching a concept; he was sharing the insights gained from lived experience. And for those of us navigating business with sparky brains, seeing someone succeed BECAUSE of their neurodivergence, not despite it, changes what we might believe is possible for us too.
Yes, he is one heck of an expert on this subject - books, courses, keynotes, programs, workshops - all the things that speak to his credibility and professionalism.
But knowing this chapter of his work is built on skinned knees? That spoke to me, to us, at a deeper level - and it instantly created connection and trust.
We all need to be SHU'd
I believe this is the feeling we’re all, even unconsciously, looking for. It's what your clients want, that reassuring mix of knowledge and empathy.
They want to know that your services are the result not just of your knowledge, but also of your personal lessons. They’re not looking to hear a sermon from the mount - “here’s the destination, follow my formula and you too can enjoy the view from up here”.
They want someone who stands beside them Sherpa style, and says, I’ve been up there, there’s a crevasse or two on the way up that I fell into, but I’ve marked them. You're safe with me.
Or some derivation of that story!
The world feels a little crazy at the moment, and the erosion of trust can be the result, even in our local business landscape. In this atmosphere, the stories we tell ourselves about scarcity and competition can sharpen our edges as service providers or buyers.
The SHU Factor softens those edges.
No one has your combination of experience and expertise. No one.
That combination is your edge!
Those hard-won insights, the wobbly pivots, the lessons that likely hurt at the time, the fears and challenges, the wisdom and breakthroughs - those are the stories that carry weight.
They build resonance. They create trust. They help people feel seen, heard, and understood. Safe to lean in.
So if you’ve been holding back from sharing more of your own lived experience, consider this a gentle nudge from me:
What parts of your story could build trust and resonance if you let them be seen?
You don’t have to overshare. You don’t have to make it a great big “brand story.” But you can show up with grounded wisdom that says, “This is what I experienced, and that's why I do this, offer this, understand this, have changed this…. Because I’ve been there too.”
And often, that’s where genuine connection takes root.
I felt I was in the right room that day, and you can be sure that any future training I choose to invest in around this topic will be with Russ.
What part of your story might you share this week? I’d love to know.
And if you're ready to develop your own authentic story and positioning as part of a supportive community where you feel seen, heard, and understood, my Ignite Membership might be just what you’re looking for.
