Why big business decisions can feel impossible with ADHD (and what finally shifted for me)

I disappeared for a little while recently - I was a little pre-occupied, doing the very thing I write about in my book.

I’ve been working to escape the Deliberation Zone.

That particular kind of stuck - where you know something needs to change but can't quite make yourself move - hits differently when you have a sparky brain.

If you've been following along on LinkedIn, you'll know I wrote about the Deliberation Zone recently - what it is, what it costs, and how to move through it. What I didn't share there was that I was writing it from inside my second major foray into it…. 

I’ve managed to make it to the other side again, and that’s what this story is about.

The Deliberation Zone can be a sticky, murky kinda place.

The Deliberation Zone (which I explained in this post) is where Discontent and Desire sit in a standoff. You know something needs to shift, you can feel it, you might even know exactly what that thing is. 

But you haven't yet made the decision that would catapult you from deliberating into doing, so you keep oscillating backwards and forwards… shall I? Shan’t I? Will I? Won’t I? (Sound familiar? I wrote about this exact experience in The Maze of Options)

What keeps you stuck there, in ADHD decision paralysis?

Usually some version of fear. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of the unknown. And if you're running a business, fear of what other people will think.

That last one has a particular flavour for those of us with sparky brains.

"How scatty IS this woman?"

I've been sitting on a potential move for a while now.

I’ve shared about the impact my (very) late-stage ADHD diagnosis has had on me. Such a reframe. A whole new lens to understand my own brain through, and it turns out, the brains of a significant number of the women I've coached and mentored throughout my business adventure.

Since then (it was 2023) I’ve been toying with the idea of  bringing this lens into my work properly, rather than adding sparky brained insights in an ad-hoc afterthought, cushioned inside an almost apologetic asterisk.

To come out of the ADHD business coach closet, so to speak, and be clear -  this is who I work best with, this is the lens I bring, this is why so much of what I've created over the years makes a different kind of sense now.

But I kept hesitating. Umming and ahhing.

Why? Because Helga, my ever vigilant inner critic, had rather a lot to say about this bold move.

Here's a sample of what Helga had to say about that.

• What will people think - probably how scatty IS this woman???

• They’ll likely see this as a cashing in on a market trend?  

• They’ll scoff at the value of your “lived experience”

• The non-ADHDers will run a mile - and that’s at least a third of your clients!

• You’re already attracting these women - you don’t need to be louder about it

And the undercurrent? You’ll change your mind again next month…we both know that, you are as inconsistent as they come…..

Ouch.

This fear is very familiar. But that doesn’t make it true.

Why is it that we are so quick to accept and believe the thoughts that tell us the myriad of ways in which we’re wrong, and far less willing to embrace the idea that maybe, just maybe we might be right? Teflon for the good and velcro for the bad strikes again.

Why the fear of judgment hits sparky brains harder

Plot twist - there's actually a neurological reason the fear of judgment hits sparky brains harder than most. 

Emotional dysregulation is an inherent part of ADHD, rooted in the brain's emotional processing circuits. Add Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria into the recipe, where the brain processes social rejection through neural pathways similar to the ones activated by physical pain and "what will people think?" becomes a full-body experience. This isn't catastrophising. It's part of the neurobiology we need to work with.

Change has to come from the inside

I've consistently explained to my clients that to have a sustainable profitable and enjoyable business, we can’t make choices from external pressure - from what the market wants, what seems strategic, what the algorithm rewards, what everyone else is doing.

Change needs to come from the inside.

And finally, about 2 weeks ago it did for me.

Interestingly, the shift came on the heels of my rebooting my journaling practice. Just me, a pen and paper and my thoughts… No Claude, No ChatGPT. No Co-Pilot. 

Coincidental clarity? I think not…

I was writing about the conversations I was having. The enquiries that were coming in. The clients I had irrepressible synergy with. And there it was clear as day: the work that felt most alive, most meaningful, most mine - it was already happening with women who were wired like me. Sparky-brained. Usually equally late-diagnosed and newly making sense of a lifetime of patterns. Running solo businesses in a world built for a different kind of brain.

In addition to business strategy and self-leadership, love of learning is one of my top strengths and sharing what I learn? That lights me up like the proverbial Christmas tree. I was LOVING seeing the dawning understanding in a client's eyes when I explained some of the likely reasons why things in business had been challenging for her, and what could change with a new approach. 

The most common responses?

#1 is Relief (it’s not that I‘m just not capable of never quite building what I know I can, it’s that I had the wrong manual!)

And #2 - Rekindled enthusiasm 

And so once I stopped arguing with what I already knew, the decision pretty much made itself in the way most of the best decisions tend to. Not dramatically. 

A refined focus is a laser, not a cage

Refined. Not restricted.

I had my own experience of relief as I stepped out of deliberation and into discernment - part of my former reluctance around niching was a belief that it means closing yourself off. And I do NOT like being restricted.

But it doesn't.

There's a difference between being constrained and being refined. A refined focus is a laser, not a cage. It makes everything sharper.

That’s why stepping into this refined positioning feels like the polar opposite of restriction. Ideas are arriving as quick as always, but they’re clearer - more nuanced. I’m creating new resources that are so incredibly tailored, their value is instantly clear. New connections have arrived, as have invitations to a couple of really interesting opportunities that would never have materialised for a general business strategist. And when I’m researching, I‘m doing it with a lens that cuts away the irrelevant so everything is clearer.

I feel lighter. Because the weight of deliberation has been removed and my sense of purpose is reverberating through my world! 

This is my latest next chapter. And I'm sharing it because I know some of you are standing at a similar edge.

Where in your business are you currently stuck in your own Deliberation Zone?

My online home has been redecorated in a simple way.  My library of frameworks, language, and personal observations now has a shape that feels tailored, not off the rack.

As I’ve always said, “Next chapters are built on skinned knees, and your experiences can shorten and sweeten the journey for others”.

This is my latest, and that’s why I’m sharing it.  

Does any of this feel or sound like you?

I've created a page that describes the ADHD in business experience - it’s not a clinical list, and is not intended as any sort of a diagnostic tool.  It’s a reflection of many of the things I’ve seen, heard and felt over the years that I now understand.   

Take a look and see what might land for you.

If you'd like to have a conversation about what working together might look like for you and your business - I’m waving the sparky brained flag over here!  

And be kind to yourself if you’re splashing around in the deliberation zone, contemplating a big or little move, I promise it’s a necessary and very human part of the process and you’ll make it through.

Warmly,

Angela

P.S: And YES if you're not sparky-brained or an ADHDer you're still very welcome in my world. My non-sparky clients tell me they love working with me  because I quickly see opportunities and gaps, and make connections they haven't yet seen. And that, my friend, is a very sparky skill.